OUR FAMILY VIOLENCE SUPPORT SERVICE IS AVAILABLE MONDAY – FRIDAY    |    RECEPTION OPEN: 9AM - 5PM

If you are in immediate danger, dial 111 and ask for the Police

Family Violence support

A non-judgmental service providing families & individuals with support and information.

We provide Family Violence Crisis Intervention Advocacy and Information. 
Our Family Violence Workers are part of a team, with counsellors, budgeters and caring volunteers. 

Our Aim

To strive towards a positive outcome that works for you

How will we get there?

First off, we get to know each other and decide how we may be able to help. Then we will work alongside you while you build up your skills and self-confidence. 

Confidentiality

Any contact you have with us is treated as confidential, except for: 

1

If there is a reason to believe you or another person is at serious risk. 

2

Professional supervision for quality control, to ensure the best possible service for you. 

3

Audit by a government funding agency to check the work they pay for is being done. 

4

If required by a Court of Law 

Kinds of Violence

The Duluth Model graph below, shows the different kinds of violence that can be perpretrated.

Statistically more women are likely to experience family violence.

USING COERCION AND THREATS

Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her

Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare

Making her drop charges

Making her do illegal things

USING INTIMIDATION

Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures

Smashing things

Destroying her property

Abusing pets

Displaying weapons

USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Putting her down

Making her feel bad about herself

Calling her names

Making her think she's crazy

Playing mind games

Humiliating her

Making her feel guilty

USING ISOLATION

Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes

Limiting her outside involvement

Using jealousy to justify actions

MINIMISING, DENYING, AND BLAMING

Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously

Saying the abuse didn't happen

Shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour

Saying she caused it

USING CHILDREN

Making her feel guilty about the children

Using the children to relay messages 

Using visitation to harrass her

Threatening to take the children away

USING MALE PRIVILEGE

Treating her like a servant

Making all the big decisions

Acting like the 'master of the castle'

Being the one to define men's and women's roles

USING ECOMONIC ABUSE

Preventing her from getting or keeping a job

Making her ask for money

Giving her an allowance

Taking her money

Not letting her know about or have access to family income

Features of a positive relationship

The graphic below shows what a positive relationship looks like.

NEGOTIATION AND FAIRNESS

Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions for conflict

Accepting change

Being willing to compromise

NON-THREATENING BEHAVIOUR

Talking and acting so that she feels safe and comfortable expressing herself and doing things

RESPECT

Listening to her non-judgmentally

Being emotionally affirming and understanding

Valuing opinions

TRUST AND SUPPORT

Supporting her goals in life

Respecting her right to her own feelings, friends, activities, and opinions

HONESTY AND ACCOUNTABILITY

Accepting responsibility for self

Acknowledging past use of violence

Admitting being wrong

Communicating openly and truthfully

RESPONSIBLE PARENTING

Sharing parental responsibilities

Being a positive non-violent role model for the children

SHARE RESPONSIBILITY

Mutally agreeing on a fair distribution of work

Making fsmily decisions together

ECONOMIC PARTNERSHIP

Making money decisions together

Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements

The Family Violence Support team are professionals who have an interest in assisting family/whanau to achieve their goals in a number of areas. 

We treat everyone of all cultures with respect and confidentiality, whether you have lived here for generations, or are a new arrival — and we know  how to ’keep it zipped’ about other people’s business!  

We cannot always help fix the problem, but we will endeavour to connect you with someone who can assist and support you. 

Confidentiality & Feedback

We protect your confidentiality. Please view our Confidentiality Policy and Feedback process

Family Violence support Kainga Aroha

Kainga Aroha provides easy access to information, help, understanding and support.

Give us a call or email us

Our reception is open from 9am - 5pm, Monday – Friday